Free laughs: Read ‘Real Letters’ to Powerball

Purchased Powerball lottery tickets are shown Tuesday, Jan. 12, 2016, in Miami. (AP Photo/Alan Diaz)

NEW YORK (MEDIA GENERAL) – The Powerball jackpot for Wednesday night’s drawing will be an estimated $1.5 billion — the largest lottery jackpot in the world.

While Powerball is getting ready to dole out millions and millions of dollars, it’s also giving out laughs for free. If you dig into its website, you’ll find “Real Letters – and Answers” from the folks at Powerball.

Here’s a sampling:

FROM Debora W: i don’t remember my powerball numbers. my name is debora w—-
ANSWER: The number is on your Powerball ticket. Your ticket is under the seat of your car, between the seat and the car door.

FROM PJ: What is the strangest question you’ve ever received?
ANSWER: This one.

FROM BC: when a person wins the jackpot should they get a atternoy to deal with the state(s) lottery(IES) COMMISONS?
ANSWER: Yes. Ohhh, yes.

FROM Ron: I see no guarantee of an honest game on your website. Does Powerball guarantee players an honest game?
ANSWER: Anytime you see someone offer a guarantee of honesty, run.

FROM MR: On the FAQ page, it say an annuity is guaranteed. In this economy, how is it guaranteed?
ANSWER: The word “guarantee” is certainly overused from time to time, but if it can have any meaning in the English language, then it can be used with the Powerball jackpot. You can imagine some instances where even a Powerball jackpot will not continue:
(1) A meteor strikes North America, wiping out all life.
(2) The U.S. government is overrun by [insert name of feared enemy here].
Short of these events, the Powerball annuity prize will be paid on schedule. What we actually use for our investments is not important; the Powerball prize — which pays a graduated annuity, rising at 4% per year to keep up with inflation — is a contract between each of the lottery members (the states) and you. As long as the U.S.A is in business, you will be paid. If the U.S.A. fails, then you will have other things to worry about.

You can read more “Real Letters – and Answers” from Powerball by clicking here.

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